Reflections of a 16 Year Old

Queen Bee

By Alyssa Vaughn

Most of the time

I find life won’t go my way

The only thing certain

Is how my life is today

When the unexpected happens

I’ve learned to accept the change

I try to with strength and grace

But I have dreams to rearrange

Sometimes I feel lost

I’m not sure what to do

My mind and heart are conflicted

Over these feelings so new

People always tell me

There are two choices; two paths to take

But which one is right?

What decision should I make?

I ponder the question

Then my soul comes alive

I’ll be the queen bee

Not a part of the hive

I’ll make my own path

I’ll do things my way

I’ll make my own light

I’ll catch the sun’s ray

I know it won’t be easy

I’ll have to work hard

But the deck is all gone

So I have to play my card

Travelling alone

Armed only with my wits

I know I’ll face obstacles

I’ll have to take some hits

My hands will get dirty

Lots of sweat and grime

I know I’ll make it through

All I need is time

I will find my sun

Through all of this rain

A love to last forever

And a friend to ease my pain

I will be triumphant

There’s no doubt in my mind

I will be successful

Oh Lord, How I’ll shine

I’ll make the way for others

They can follow my lead

A belief in themselves

Is all that they will need

I began this life transition of moving, going to a new school, and sharing my life with a new dad with a lot of negative and depressed thoughts. After making new friends, starting a job as kennel technician for dogs, and a lot of narrative therapy, I was able to embrace a more optimistic outlook. I defined my independence by opting to graduate early and move away for college. I can see a turning point in my self-confidence and my belief in my own ability to be resilient.

To me, this poem symbolizes a part of the journey where you may be feeling overwhelmed, tired, stressed out, feeling like giving up and then you discover the strengths that have been there all along and the courage to keep moving. You feel hopeful again and are moving towards your goals.

For many, it is difficult to find your inner strength through the web of negative thoughts and emotions we may be feeling stuck in. It may not be clear to us that we have to take small steps and build our strength and confidence from within. Each person has a strength to recognize on their way to personal growth and healing. Simply acknowledging that you are struggling shows strength and awareness. Taking steps towards your goals for growth and healing is a strength. The ability to be vulnerable is another strength.  Two narrative exercises you can use to discover and build your inner strength and confidence are to:

A – Write a Letter… to your inner strength, your future self, your past self in a time that you felt most confident. Consider in your letter: describe what strength is to you, how would you be different if you were more confident, or what made you feel confident in the past and how would it help you to feel that confidence again. Don’t worry about spelling and grammar, just write.

B – What is self-confidence? Describe what self-confidence is to you, what does a self-confident person look like, how does a self-confident person stand/talk/behave? What does it feel like to be self-confident? How do you look/feel/think/behave as a self-confident person? Consider these things and practice standing/walking/talking how you think a self-confident person would do these things. 

There is also a short TED talk that I would recommend that discusses the power of body language and how practicing being confident ultimately helps you tap into your own self-confidence and feel like a more confident you.

TED Talk: “Your body language shapes who you are” by Amy Cuddy

https://www.ted.com/playlists/259/talks_to_give_you_a_confidence